Drivers in Los Angeles are getting ready this weekend for what they’re calling “Carmageddon.”   What is the problem out there on the left coast?  Why, it’s the closure of a freeway!

For two days this weekend, they’ll close I-405 – “The 405” as they say out there – through the mountain pass north of west L.A. to start demolition of a bridge.  It’s all part of a project that calls for widening 405.  

OMG!  The nation’s second-largest city is going into a panic because of the closure of a freeway! 

But then, I started to think.  Aren’t we Clevelanders going into a panic because of all the lane changes and closures related to the work on the new Innerbelt bridge?  

No we aren’t.  Yes, some drivers are having a hard time dealing with it, but we are not calling it “Carmageddon” when the westbound lanes of I-90 are closed for an entire weekend, or when the E. 22nd and Carnegie offramps can be accessed only by traffic on northbound I-77 merging into I-90.  

Why aren’t we panicking?  Well, of course, there are far fewer drivers here than in L.A., but I also like to think there are good alternate routes. 

But what if, and I say, what if, every freeway crossing over the Cuyahoga River in Cuyahoga County were completely closed, forcing you to go all the way to the Turnpike to go from east to west?  Now, that would give you an idea of the panic that’s facing drivers who want to go from west L.A. to the San Fernando Valley.

I found a funny piece from Monday’s Los Angeles Times that made me think about how the folks at ODOT could help us get across the Cuyahoga River during the multiple years of Innerbelt work.  I want to give credit to L.A. Times writer Steve Lopez, as I have adapted some of his ideas.  

  • Southwest Airlines could offer flights from Burke Lakefront Airport to Hopkins International Airport.  Flight time would be about two minutes.  Cost, as low as $19, depending on when you buy your ticket.
  • Goodyear can send its blimp, the Spirit of Goodyear, up to Cleveland to ferry people from the east to the west.
  • Bring back the Holy Moses, the ferry boats that used to take people from the east bank to the west bank of the Flats, before the east bank shut down.
  • There’s a company called Water Car.  They make cars that can also be driven into water and go just like a boat.  All you need to do is just drive into Lake Erie and you can easily get from the east side to the west.  Their Python model starts at only $200,000.
  • ODOT should have crisis counselors handy to deal with people who are disoriented and suffering from anxiety.  

Actually, if there’s one thing about all this, it makes me glad I live in Cleveland and not in L.A.  If a city is panicking over having a freeway closed for two days – and a weekend at that – it’s not exactly where I’d want to be.  We Clevelanders are having a tough time dealing with the Innerbelt being narrowed and having lanes closed, but in the long run, we’ll end up with a bridge replacing the one that is over 50 years old so it’s worth some minor inconvenience.   

If anyone’s tough, it’s a Clevelander.