Thursday, November 1, 2012

Like the Wild Thing attacking one of his 23 opening-night rebounds, let’s go here, there, and everywhere…

•••

Cavs’ owner Dan Gilbert has finally expressed public regret for his ill-fated prediction that his club would win an NBA title before LeBron James won one. “Looking back now, that probably was not the most brilliant thing I’ve ever done in my life,” he said Tuesday. Gilbert earned much praise for his act of contrition, and also for avoiding the temptation to show James, who received his championship ring at a ceremony before Miami’s opener against the Celtics on the same night, precisely which finger he should wear it on.

•••

Doesn’t it just break your heart when you see two lovable guys like Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen at odds with each other? Allen, one of the original members of Boston’s “Big Three” who started the trend that led to James’ union with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh in Miami, abandoned Boston’s ship with a cowardly move to join their hated rivals. Garnett, one of the dirtiest and most surly players in the game, wouldn’t even look at the traitorous Allen before Tuesday night’s opener. Picking a favorite in this villainous duel is like choosing between an abscessed tooth and a migraine.

•••

Everybody loves an underdog, sure, but can someone please explain why the new world champion San Francisco Giants are being lauded as the “gritty, gutty” bunch who overcame some sort of massive disadvantage to win their 2nd World Series title in 3 years?

Sure, the free-spending AL champion Tigers had the 5th highest payroll in baseball, at roughly $132 million, but the Giants hardly won their crown on a budget, paying out $118 million this season — 8th highest out of 30 MLB teams. Congratulations to the Giants for winning, but winning with that type of payroll is hardly “gritty” or “gutty’.

•••

The Indians made some decisions on personnel this week, picking up the option year on the contract of Ubaldo Jimenez, but declining those of Travis Hafner and Roberto Hernandez.

Hafner is reportedly considering a free-agent deal with the National Academy of Sports Science that would involve donating multiple body parts for study of human frailty, while Hernandez is hoping other teams won’t recognize him by name when he hit free agency. 

•••

Good news for Pat Shurmur, sort of. The folks at CBSsports.com conducted a poll asking which NFL coach is likely to be the first fired. Shurmur finished 2nd to last in the polling, earning just six percent of the vote among a group that included San Diego’s Norv Turner, Dallas’ Jason Garrett, Buffalo’s Chan Gailey, Romeo Crennel of the Chiefs, and Ron Rivera in Carolina.

Turner was considered the most likely pink slip recipient, with 42% of the vote. See what losing to the Browns can do to a coach’s career?

•••

Hall of Fame quarterback Warren Moon is convinced that Cam Newton’s skin tone, rather than his attitude or performance, has made him the target of unfair criticism during his nightmarish sophomore season.

When some in the media compared Newton’s petty and petulant display on the sideline, and his snide, condescending behavior in the interview room to former NFL QB Vince Young, Moon took offense.

“It’s the same old crap,” Moon argued. “It’s always a comparison of one black to another black. I get tired of it.”

Yes, Warren. Like when Peyton Hillis had his breakout season in 2010, and whose style was immediately compared with that of bulldozing running backs like Earl Campbell, Christian Okoye, and Franco Harris.

Oh, wait, those were Mike Alstott, John Riggins, and Larry Csonka.

•••

Speaking of bulldozing running backs, here’s hoping Shurmur and Browns’ offensive coordinator Brad Childress didn’t view Sunday’s win over the Chargers, one in which they didn’t make their rookie quarterback throw 40 or more passes again, as an aberration. Weeden came into Sunday’s game averaging 39 pass attempts per game in their 1-6 start — third-highest in the league—but threw just 29 times in the wind and rain against San Diego, allowing Richardson to do exactly what he was drafted to do.

•••

ESPN once again proudly aired something called the “World Series of Poker” on their all-sports network this week, with some “athlete” named Greg Merson emerging as champion.

Up next on the “world-wide leader in sports”: Bob Knight vs. Bobby Valentine in a one-on-one Checkers Death Match, followed by Lee Corso against Lou Holtz in a bruising battle of Canasta.